To be clear, I am no grief expert and suggest that you talk with some more knowledgeable than me about your grief.
Today, I want to tell you a couple of ways to work through my grief. I feel like I could write a dissertation about this topic, but today I am setting a ten minute timer and offering just some first thoughts.
When I sat beside my mom’s bed and held her hand as she took her last breaths a song popped into my mind. So I sang as many of the lyrics as I could remember and her breathing changed, her body seemed to relax, and within the hour she was gone.
I went online and listened to the song and cried. I doodled. I cried. Repeat. Repeat.
I decided that the best way to grieve for myself, and for my children, was to intentionally make time to PLAY. I began to ask myself a very serious question, “Will this bring me JOY?” and if the answer was no, then I declined the commitment or wiggled out of saying yes. A couple of friends were offended, and then I told them that my life priorities had shifted to self care for myself and prioritizing my own family.
Art PLAY – open ended, process oriented art, and finding our laughter again. Multi-generational art play is the sweetest medicine for a grieving family! I am lucky to have a room in my home we call “The Studio”, put honestly, most days it was just a few markers at the dining room table. When you are grieving, give up on the idea of Pinterest worthy set ups…it is the “making” that matters to feed your soul, not creating a image for your social media feed.
Out of time to write today, but here is some advice I just posted to a friend:
“Lay out some water color paints, white paper, and other art supplies. Children have a beautiful way of expressing their thoughts, and when grown ups PLAY and explore the process of art the whole family can release. Our faith guides our words we say to children, and in my experiences the less I say and the more I listen, the better we all move through our grief. And DANCE parties in the kitchen, explain to kids that it is okay to feel both SAD and HAPPY and whole range of feelings after saying goodbye. So much love to you, please, take time to yourself as well.”
Thank you, Pete Seeger, your song continues to soothe generation!